26 The Garden Corner
February 5, 2021
28 Green Acres
February 26, 2021
How Not to Remove a Wort
I t begins at 10 o'clock one morning when I see my husband, Mike, standing outside looking up at the trees and the sky. This means he's trying to avoid starting his chores which—with his eyes looking upwards—are down below where he can't see them.
Mike has resorted to this little trick for as long as I can remember. If he keeps his eyes up, he thinks his chores might just go away. It is the only time my husband becomes an optimist.
When he gets in this state, I've learned to take advantage and ask him to do a chore for me because my chores are "easier."
So on this particular day, I ask him to dig out an overgrown St. John's Wort from the garden.
TOP: Hypericum perforatum (St John’s wort)
Hypericums have extensive root systems and spread themselves by runners and self-seeding. Rather than remove by pulling or digging with a shovel, a backhoe, if you have one—and we have several for our construction business—is the far better approach!
My St. John's Wort was installed by the prior homeowner and is over 25 years old. I felt it was just time for it to go. Besides I had grown tired of all the work involved to keep it from straying outside the boundaries I give it. It always ignores me, like "What boundaries?"
I did give it a chance last fall when I whacked it way back thinking new growth might spruce it up and make me decide to keep it. But then the idea of just getting rid of it sounded kind of nice. I can do so much more with a 4 by 4-foot garden spot than sticking a St. John's Wort in it.
Hypericum perforatum does have its good points. It is great for erosion control and for filling open spaces. If you want to let it spread, do it's natural thing, it requires low maintenance and also low water usage. That's why it is so over-used in landscaping. But just know...once you have one, you will always have it, and it can get away from you.
Besides being a "Bang For Your Buck" plant, this one can also be a "What the hell was I thinking?!" plant.
However, there is a much improved St. John’s Wort that came on the market about 3 years ago.
Hypericum inodorum ‘Kolros’ (Floralberry Rosè St. John’s Wort)
I suspect this new variety was bred for florists as it has longer stems with an enormous amount of berries. It is a smaller more compact shrub and not at all invasive.
It also comes in 5 varieties, all named after wines: Rosè, Champagne, Chardonnay, Pinot, Sangria. I bet this branding ploy makes you want to run right out and buy one (or more!) of your own. (Collect them all!!)
I first saw it in a display at Emerisa Gardens but none were for sale. Now you can find it at a few nurseries especially in the fall—the season it shines. I bought one at a local nursery I will tell you about next time, Green Acres. Tad expensive at $27.50 in a 2-gallon.
Anyway, back to Mike's "helpful" digging out of the old unwanted St. John's Wort.
First, after agreeing to do it, he comes over to take a look.
"Taking a look" always ends up using 15 minutes or more of my time to discuss all the ins-and-outs of the situation. (Gawd, just dig the damn thing up!)
Mike takes his look, we discuss, and in the process, he comes up with: "I think the old sewer line runs somewhere beneath here...or near here." Which means using a backhoe is not best.
"Okay," I say. "Get a shovel then, and help me."
Well then of course he decides maybe a backhoe IS best after all.
And this is where "the kicker" of the story comes in. We have a few backhoes here at the house due to the Winter season (can't work in the rain) and each one has a different attachment. Since I want to dig up only the roots and keep the soil, Mike has the apparently difficult decision as to which backhoe and then with which attachment will be best to do the job.
Do NOT give this man options. It just adds more time to the chore. (This is sooooo "My Life With Mike!")
One of the possible backhoes held some old-growth redwood beams that were going to be used to build my She Shed. Now the beams were waiting on the backhoe to be relocated because we decided to use new beams instead.
(Quick SHE SHED Newsflash...)
My She Shed currently under construction!! (Mike is not building it so it will get done in my lifetime.)
Pile of beams. Backhoe.
Of course Mike decides on THAT backhoe. Fitting it with a ripper tooth attachment would make it perfect for digging my plant.
But first, where to put those old beams? Another decision, Mike.
Wanting to cut my his dilemma short, I suggest the beams go back where they were before the She Shed. But no, he doesn't want them anywhere he can't actually see them. Otherwise he thinks he will forget about them—even though he had them up in the unseeable "north forty" for over 20 years. He had only recently brought them down for the shed.
Needing to SEE stuff pretty much sums up my husband AND my daughter. They both like to be able to actually see ALL of their crap ALL at once.
So then I suggest the deck of our birdhouse (a tall narrow playhouse plus outdoor-furnishings building). This works for him but of course there is a stack of lumber in the way there.
Some time and effort later, we have moved the stack of lumber, relocated the beams and freed the backhoe. But now Mike cannot drive the backhoe to where the ripper tooth attachment is because a trailer he moved earlier that morning is blocking the way.
Needless to say, moving the trailer presents more issues—a lengthy epic I will not go into.
When Mike is finally able to move the trailer, he gets the backhoe fitted with the ripper tooth and over to the poor old St. John's Wort that is waiting more patiently than me for its demise. (Because it is blissfully unaware—a state which I very much envy about now.)
The job is done in 5 minutes.
Plus 2 1/2 hours filled with a lot of fuss and hoo-ha!
I know you are logically thinking I should have just dug up that St. John's Wort myself. I have no logical answer for you. In hindsight, I should have—which is too often the case. But at least I have the happy result of getting a new open spot in my garden plus a new plant to put there! So much better than bar hopping.
Welcome to my world. Now you know, Dear Reader, why I hold tight to my plant addiction.
It reduces my stress.
In the end, I have this to say too, with no reservations: Mike and me—we make a great pair.
And that is about as cleaned up as you will ever see me in a photo.
Photos courtesy Sheri Lynn Burke. All rights reserved.
